Perhaps you’ve come across Kintsugi, or Kintsukuroi?
It is a (centuries-old) Japanese art technique in which broken pottery items are repaired using an adhesive dusted with gold, silver, or platinum.
According to a Japanese legend, Kintsugi came about when Ashikaga Yoshimasa, a shogun (military leader) in the late 15th century, broke his favourite tea bowl.
Unwilling to simply throw it away, Ashikaga sent it to be repaired. However, when the bowl came back he was disappointed: the bowl was held together by metal pins, giving it an unsightly appearance.
Hoping for a better outcome, Ashikaga sent the bowl to the local craftsmen who came up with a new technique. One that would not only repair the bowl but make it beautiful as well.
So, the craftsmen mended the bowl using a lacquer mixed with powdered gold.
And the end result was spectacular! Ashikaga’s tea bowl had streaks of gold running through it, transforming each and every crack into something uniquely beautiful.
The deeper meaning behind Kintsugi cannot be missed: By choosing to repair something that may be chipped, cracked, or broken, we can make it stronger, more beautiful than it once was.
I find that truly inspiring.
So often couples see the “cracks” or “breaks” in their relationship and decide that they cannot be repaired.
They believe there are just too many problems.
Too much conflict.
Too much anger, hurt, resentment, and bitterness.
That no amount of patching up, gluing together, or mending can hold the “fragmented” parts of the relationship together again.
But I want you to know that this is untrue.
The cracks, chips, and breaks in a relationship have lessons to teach. Important messages to send out.
They let you know that there are areas in your relationship that require more attention and work.
They let you know that there are lopsided perceptions and unbalanced emotions at play.
They let you know that it is time to take action.
And taking action doesn’t have to mean one gigantic leap in a particular direction. (Even the smallest of steps can lead you to your desired destination.)
Perhaps you may want to take a step toward learning how to go about repairing the chips, cracks, or breaks in your relationship.
In which case, I encourage you to watch a replay of my free Relationship Restoration webinar.
Remember that love, care, attention, and effort can work as that golden lacquer, mending the chips, cracks, or breaks in your relationship, making it stronger, more resilient, and more beautiful than ever before.
For Kintsugi teaches us that relationships can end up being “more beautiful for having been broken” if you learn how to restore them.
From my heart to yours